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What Is Postpartum Like for a Surrogate?
November 8, 2024
The postpartum period for a gestational surrogate is a unique experience. Even if you've prepared yourself for the emotional adjustments after the intended parents return home with their baby, the range of feelings can be complicated.
During the postpartum period, often called the fourth trimester, you may experience:
Joy and fulfillment from helping create a family
Relief at completing the surrogacy journey
Sadness or a sense of loss as the intense connection with the intended parents changes
Confused as postpartum hormonal mood swings kick in
Like all pregnant women, gestational carriers have a chance of developing postpartum depression after delivery. Although a gestational pregnancy may reduce the chance of having the baby blues, the possibility is still there.
Physical Recovery
Surrogates may find that their physical recovery is somewhat easier than with their own pregnancies because they don't have the demands of caring for a newborn. Still, your body needs time to heal and adjust after pregnancy and delivery.
The soreness, fatigue, and hormonal fluctuations that occur after having your own children are part of the surrogate postpartum experience, too. You will still need postpartum medical care, including follow-up appointments with your healthcare provider.
One unique aspect of postpartum for surrogates is managing milk production. Some surrogates may choose to pump and provide breast milk for the baby, while others may need to suppress lactation. This decision is typically made in advance with the intended parents. If not breastfeeding, you may experience discomfort as your milk comes in. You'll need to take steps to reduce milk production, such as using cold compresses or wearing tight-fitting bras.
One Surrogate's Experience
Sarah has been a surrogate 3 times.
"Aside from being a wife and mother to my 2 children, surrogacy has been my life for a long time. This last journey was very hard on me physically, but it was also hard on me mentally. What made this pregnancy hard for me mentally was that I knew this was going to be my last journey."
“How do you go from having such an impact on people’s lives and doing something so great and fulfilling and rewarding to just being done?” This was what Sarah found the hardest. “It was a struggle, and I’m sure the postpartum hormones didn’t help! One minute I wanted to cry for no reason at all, and the other, I’m so happy and grateful for my life and the people I have in it, including the parents of the babies I have carried.”
The Importance of Having a Support System
The period immediately following birth can be emotionally challenging. The intense relationship with the intended parents often changes as they focus on their new baby, which can leave surrogates feeling a sense of emptiness or isolation. Keeping the lines of communication open with intended parents can help ease this transition. Many surrogates find comfort in receiving updates and photos of the baby, which can reinforce the positive impact of their gift.
The importance of having the support of family and friends during your fourth trimester can't be overstated. One study showed that 70% of the participants stated that the support of family and friends was important for them when deciding to become a surrogate.
Relying on a support group for surrogates or a licensed mental health therapist can also help you navigate the emotional landscape during postpartum.
While it shares many similarities with traditional postpartum experiences, the post-delivery experience for surrogates also presents unique challenges and considerations. By prioritizing self-care, maintaining open communication, and leaning on your support systems, you can navigate this period successfully, honoring the incredible gift you've given while taking care of your own well-being.
Why Choose Surrogacy.com as Your Surrogate Guide
When choosing to become a gestational surrogate, it's vital to consult with experienced surrogacy professionals who can guide you through the decision-making process and ensure you are fully protected and informed. Our team connects you with an extensive support system and network that includes caring social workers, experienced legal staff well-versed in reproductive and state-by-state surrogacy laws, and knowledgeable financial experts.
Your support team also includes a true surrogacy sisterhood of women who have been in your shoes. Some have even gone through the gestational surrogacy process as many as 3 times! They're available to help you navigate the application process and answer virtually any questions you may have. Learn more about surrogate requirements, and when you're ready for the next step, use our online form to get in touch.