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October 17th: Five Years Apart
By: Wendi
The day is October 17th, the day my husband and I officially became a family. After many hours of labor the doctor pulls forth a beautiful daughter and puts her in my arms. I feel complete and overwelmed as my lifelong dream is literally within my grasp. All that I am and will be I will judge by how those innocent eyes look upon me. I want to protect her and yet give her wings, mostly I just want to love her. I cannot imagine living a life without being given this kind of blessing.It is now five years later and on that exact same day with encouragement from the woman holding my hand and instructions from my OB, I easily push the first twin out, a 6.0lb beautiful baby boy. He immediately gets handed to his Father who has waited 40 years for that moment. After 25 minutes of solid pushing, whispers of an impending C-section, I give one last hard push and deliver another 6.0lb baby, this one a beautiful girl. She then gets handed to the woman holding my hand who has waited 35 years to hold a child of her own. As I lay there with empty arms and open legs, it is my heart that is overflowing with love and pride for having helped to create a family. And on Oct 17th, 1996 they became a family.
You see, I'm a gestational surrogate. My biggest payment in the arrangement was not by the financial compensation I received but by that tiny stretch of time that I just described for you. Just imagine the emotions that I left out that describe a dream becoming reality in less than 30 mintues. Along with the loving words,encouragement and looks of utter amazement that bit of time represented years of agonzing infertilty coming to an end for the parents of these babies. For me and my Husband, who took pictures and encouraged me from behind a video camera, it meant the end of a 15 month goal. A journey that for the most part was one of the most fulfilling experiences I have ever had.
It has been 6 months since that amazing day and the urge to do it again and be apart of this elite group has overcome any fear of childbirth I might still harbor along with the forgotten symptoms of morning sickness, heartburn, urinary incontinence, weight gain, backaches, edema, and bedrest because of preterm dilation. Why do I want to do it again? I don't know, I guess I can best describe it as a deep spiritual feeling of obligation. I guess since I've been blessed in my own life in so many ways that doing something above the ordinary for a stranger seems to repay my debt to the "gods who bestow blessings". I figure if I save up all my good points I might be able to cash them in for a new set of steak knives. Back to reality...it just seems to all get narrowed down to the fact that "I can" and isn't that good enough?
I am reminded by family and friends the stress surrogacy brings. This includes the stress to my body, marriage, my daily routine, family, and to my mind. The body stress stems from an endless array of shots not to mention the stress of a multiple pregnancy. The emotional stress of putting so much faith into your body as another couple puts all of their trust and literally their dreams into you. The pressure to succeed is great as you are out to show your confidence in your bodys ability to carry a healthy baby to term. They are looking to you to succeed where other means have failed time and again for them. The stress to my marriage comes from my husband having to defend my actions, taking on more household responsiblities, putting up with my moodiness, and must stand by while I become the center of attention for nine months with little admiration for the support he provides. I can only respond that I am optimistic that all will work out in the future and it is such a small price to pay in creating a family.
July 1997
COPYRIGHT 1997.The American Surrogacy Center, Inc.(TASC), Marietta, GA. Permission to reprint any content from "A Labor of Love!" may be obtained by contacting TASC.
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