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Surrogate's Diary
By: Florence Hobson
JANUARY 1987: My experience as a surrogate began in January 1987. I was a young wife and mother of a 3-year-old daughter. One day while reading the newspaper I spotted an ad that read, "Give the gift of life. Carry a child for an infertile couple..." along with a phone number for an attorney. I don't know what possessed me to call that number, but looking back now, I can see it was a path my life was meant to take. After contacting the attorney, I was besieged with paperwork to fill out, psychological and medical screenings to undergo, and then the most frightening part of all -- meeting a couple! I started out in the artificial insemination program, but after three failed attempts at getting pregnant and not feeling very comfortable with my couple, I transferred to IVF.
AUGUST 1987: I thought I would be pregnant by this time, and there I was starting from scratch meeting a new couple. I was matched with a lovely couple from Colorado. We started the typical megadoses of medication in preparation for the transfer.
OCTOBER 1987: Our transfer failed, and the doctor informed us that we need to stop all meds. We skipped November's cycle to get our bodies back to normal and start over with December's cycle. During this period, I miraculously discovered I was pregnant -- with my own child! Getting pregnant traditionally sure is a lot easier than with doctors helping. Needless to say it was a year before I could even think about working as a surrogate again.
MARCH 1989: When my daughter reached 6 months of age, I was ready to contact the attorney and get back into the program. About a week later I received a phone call. A local couple was preparing for a transfer with their surrogate when the surrogate fell out of cycle with the intended mom. I just happened to be right in sync with the mom. I was given a quick profile on the couple and had to decide if I would be interested in working with them. I met them at the doctor's office the next day, and we tried to get to know each other as quickly as possible, for in a couple days, I could be carrying their child. The minute I met them I knew they would be perfect parents.
Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Four embryos were implanted, and none survived. Second try - failure. Third try - this time doing ZIFT (surgical transfer of embryos directly into fallopian tubes via a laparascopy) another failure. By this time we were all looking at each other wondering what went wrong. We were all young and healthy (the intended mom was under age 35.) Our obvious alternative was to see a different doctor.
NOVEMBER 1989: After all the medical screenings with our new doctor we were ready to try a fourth and final transfer. I opted for ZIFT again because I heard the odds were better, and I had more freedom to do as I pleased post-surgery. With IVF I had to stay off my feet for 48 hours which is hard to do with a one-year-old in the house.
DECEMBER 2, 1989: Five embryos were transferred.
DECEMBER 14, 1989: "Congratulations! You're pregnant." I couldn't believe it. The doctor had called the mom-to-be at work to tell her the good news. She said her knees turned to Jello, and she couldn't speak. It was unbelievable. They had been through a total of seven transfers with two surrogates, and finally their unattainable goal was accomplished.
AUGUST 1990: The pregnancy was uneventful, quite normal in fact, and on August 24, 1990 a new family was formed. The parents were in the delivery room with me, crying and videotaping the birth of their daughter. She weighed 8lbs, 5oz, and they named her Rachel. Saying good-bye to Rachel was not as difficult as saying good-bye to her parents. We had grown so close. I felt like I had lost good friends. But we are still in contact with each other. They still send cards and pictures, and if we're ever in the area we get together. After a year had passed, they approached me to see if I would work with them again, but I declined, stating the fact that even though I loved them very much, I was in the surrogate program to work with a childless couple. They have since had a son thanks to another surrogate.
FEBRUARY 1993: After the birth of my third child, the thought of being a surrogate again crossed my mind. First I had to convince my husband. The second question was „will my attorney allow me to.¾ Upon receiving the go-ahead from both, I was matched with another local couple.
APRIL 1993: I met my new couple at the doctor's office. They were quite different from the first. They were both professionals in their 40's, quiet, reserved, but very sweet and desperate for a child. Because of a tubal ligation I had after my son was born, ZIFT was no longer an option. We would do a straight IVF transfer.
MAY 1993: After the transfer of four frozen embryos failed, we tried again the following month using fresh eggs and donor sperm. Apparently the doctor concluded that the intended father was part of the fertility problem. The mom was unable to carry to term due to uterine problems caused by her mother taking the drug DES while pregnant with her.
JUNE 1993: Again, four embryos were implanted, and nine days later we had a positive pregnancy. My BETA blood levels were quite high, and we thought we might have twins. The ultrasound three weeks later revealed two sacs, but only one had a heart beat. The second sac soon flushed itself out of my body, and I was left with, according to an amnio, one healthy baby boy.
MARCH 1994: I carried him to term with no complications, and on St. Patrick's Day, 8lb Andrew was greeted into the world by his crying, videotaping, and anxiously awaiting parents. The following day we said our good-byes, now we stay in touch through cards and phone calls.
JUNE 1995: My pregnancies and deliveries have always been easy and uneventful, which brings me to my third (and final) experience as a surrogate. "Just one more time, I promise," I told my husband. My attorney even gave me the okay. Even though it was my third time, I was just as excited as if it were my first. I picked another local couple I was interested in meeting, and we arranged to meet at a restaurant near the doctor's office. We sat and talked for two hours, and I felt very comfortable with them. The intended mom was 37 years old and was unable to carry a child due to endometriosis. I mentioned to her that I would like to carry twins if I were to be so lucky, and that if they were against multiples, needed to find someone else to work with because I wouldn't reduce. She said twins would be okay with her, and her request was that she be present at all doctor appointments, including the actual transfer. That was perfectly fine with me.
JULY 1995: Our transfer was slated for July 11. Twenty eggs were retrieved and fertilized, of which five were implanted. I was placed on HCG support along with progesterone in oral and suppository form. Our first pregnancy test on day 9 of the transfer showed a positive result. Because of the high BETA reading, a multiple pregnancy was suspected. My doctor scheduled an early ultrasound at two weeks post-transfer to confirm gestation. Most people don't even know they're pregnant at this point. The parents were both present for the ultrasound. The doctor started measuring sac A, then sac B and lo and behold, sac C. Triplets! Wait, there's fourth sac. Oh, but it's so small it probably won't make it. Phew! Well, naturally we were all quite shocked. The mom's jaw just about hit the floor. The dad was very excited. Seven years they've waited for this moment. We did have a lot of concerns: Could I physically handle carrying triplets? This would require bed rest at some point. How would my family cope? The risks of prematurity. If we decided to reduce we risked losing all three. After much thought and prayer and support from friends and family, I decided I could do it. The parents were behind me 100 percent. This was a blessing to me, and for them to have their family, albeit all at once, would be a dream come true. We were given a due date of April 2, but were told we'd be lucky if we made it to March. We had a long road ahead of us. We found a support system through other triplet surrogates and mothers of triplets.
DECEMBER 1995: The pregnancy was easy in the beginning. I did get pretty big, pretty quick! By the time I was 24 weeks gestation, I was measuring full-term.
JANUARY 1996: I was so big then, I had to use a wheelchair to get around. Normal, everyday tasks were impossible to accomplish. Sleep? I wondered what that was like.
FEBRUARY 22, 1996: At 35 weeks gestation (full-term for triplets) I was admitted for a cesarean section. The mom was by my side crying, and the dad was in the scrub room videotaping. Between 12:53 and 12:54 p.m., Bradley (5lb, 2oz), Elizabeth (5lb, 6oz), and Grant (5lb, 13oz) were born, healthy and without complications. After spending just four days in the hospital, they all went home together. Once again I am left having to say good-bye to yet another couple. We all cried as we said good-bye, but agreed that it's not forever. We know we'll see each other again. The friendship we developed is a very precious bond, and no matter how many miles lie between us, we'll always hold each other close in our hearts.
When people hear that I was a surrogate mother, the questions are always, "Why did you do that" and "How could you do that?" The desire to help a couple become a family, to know the joys and sorrows of parenthood was my main reason „why¾. 'How¾ is simple. I've never had any desire to keep the babies. They are the genetic make-up of very loving couples with a simple desire to be parents. I grew very fond of all my couples, and the babies I was fortunate enough to carry to term were the greatest gifts I could ever give them.
Florence makes her home in California City with her husband of 14 years and their 3 children.
June 1996
Copyright 1996. The American Surrogacy Center, Inc.(TASC), Marietta, GA
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