by Melanie Hutchens

We were on our way to the hospital. It was 6:30am. She stood behind me as the receptionist checked me in. I was so frightened, but she was frightened more. We waited in anticipation for the nurse to come with the wheelchair. As I was getting into the wheelchair I looked up at her. Not a word was said but with a tear in her eye I heard her say...Thank you.

We were in the labor room now. She stood by my side, held my hand and helped me with my breathing when the pain came. She wiped my tears...then I wiped hers. I wanted her to go and rest. She wouldn't leave...I silently thanked her for staying.

The pain was coming fast and hard now. Nurses were getting things ready. I was put in the birthing position. She looked scared. The doctor said I should start pushing. I held her hand so tight I thought I might hurt her. I began to push, and so did she! We pushed together four or five time before the head emerged. She was excited when the doctor said he saw the head. We pushed one more time and the baby was now in the hands of the doctor. She looked at her new son with so much love. I knew this whole process had been worth it.

She leaned down, wrapped her arms around me and wept with joy. She then told me that she would leave me alone. She was giving me time with the little boy I would soon be leaving. The nurse handed me the infant. I heard the door shut and I knew I was now alone with my baby. I held him close, smelled his sweet breath, listened to his heart beat. I put my finger in has tiny hand and he wrapped his little fingers around mine. We were staring at each other and it was as if he knew what was coming next.

In a few minutes I would be introducing him to his mommy. I knew that I loved him, and that I always would. I bent my head to give him one last kiss before his mother returned.

She came back in the room. We were both crying. I held her son out for her. As she took him in her arms I saw a sparkle in her eye that every new mother has when they hold their baby for the first time.

Why would a woman want to become pregnant for another woman? Why would she risk her health, gain weight, endure all the pain in giving birth? Was money the motivator? I received $10,000--which averaged out to $1.65/hour for nine months "work." Why then would anyone in their right mind purposely get pregnant and endure all of this for a stranger? I gave of myself. I took a part of myself and gave that to another person, knowing that what I was giving was going to make another life complete.

One may ask me:
Q. What does the labor feel like?
A. I can't explain it.

Q. Why?
A. After giving birth, you're handed your newly born baby. All the pain you endured in the hours previously, well...it just disappears.

One may ask me:
Q. Why would you want to become a surrogate mother?
A. I can't explain it.

Q. Why?
A. The desire to help another woman is coming from my heart, no other place...just my heart. I was five months pregnant with my fourth child. I remember feeling extremely lucky that pregnancy came so easy for me. I knew there were other women that were not feeling as I was that day. It was at this point in my life that I wanted to become a surrogate mother.

I would need to get to know the prospective parents before I became pregnant, but it did not take me long to see I would not have any questions in their ability to raise a child...a child I would be giving them.

It has never entered my mind whether the children are being well taken care of. In fact, when I think of the children, I visualize them playing with their mommy and daddy, and that thought makes me smile. I feel very fortunate to have been that special person that helped them take what they thought would always be a dream, and turn it into a reality.

I love my own four children more than words can express. I know that I cannot bond with the children that I gave birth to acting as a surrogate mother, but if they needed anything, a kidney, bone marrow, etc., I would treat them as I would my own children. I would give up my life to help them just as I would my own children, and if they walked through my front door today I would instantly love them.

When I told them good-bye in the hospital after giving birth, I knew they were leaving my arms, but that they would never leave my heart.

Copyright 1996. The American Surrogacy Center, Inc.(TASC), Marietta, GA

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