Surrogacy. . . A Gift in Any Language!
By: A Surrogate
Hi, I was a surrogate for a Japanese couple and was asked to write about it. I was going though an agency and was asked if I would mind being a surrogate for a Japanese couple. I said "no, not at all." My application was sent over there to be viewed by parents. A young couple picked me for their surrogate.After a couple of weeks, I received a card stating that they were looking forward to meeting me. We flew up (my husband and I) to San Francisco and met. They were great. They didn't speak English but the mother sure tried. She was only 27 years old and had cervical cancer. They had to do a hysterectomy, but were able to leave her ovaries. They had done an egg retrieval that day, and she was a little sore. We ate, and talked though a translator.
The next day we did the transfer. They placed 4 embryos. I stayed in San Fransicso for 2 more days, and then we went home. The couple went back to Japan to wait and hear if I was pregnant or not. I had the blood test and found out I was not pregnant. What a blow. I can think of being pregnant and - poof - I am pregnant. I thought it was all my fault. Here my couple was so far away and I couldn't even give her a hug.
A month and a half went by and we did another transfer. This time the eggs were great. They placed three. The couple had to leave to go back to Japan as soon as the transfer was over so we didn't get to much time together. Two days in San Franscico and back home I went. I wrote them a lot. We had to send our letters to ActivPlanning and then they translated our letters and send them to us. I had my blood work taken and wow!, the level was high. I flew back to San Franscico and had an ultrasound done to show it was twins. How happy my couple was....
My couple and I wrote a lot. I tried to keep her updated on all that was going on. During the middle of the pregnancy, they came to California to see me. We went and had a nice dinner, and at dinner the babies *kicked.* So I had the mother feel it, she was so happy. The next day we went to the doctor and had an ultrasound done. Then they found out that I was carrying two girls. The man who did the ultrasound was great; he told and showed all the parts of the babies, and the translator explained it to them.
They went back to Japan, and we continued to write. On Aug. 17th, I started to contract, so we went to the hospital. They told me I had to stay since I was dialating and I was 33 weeks. I called our translator to let him know what was going on and so he could tell the couple that they needed to get here. They had been able to stop my contractions and that was good. The next day, my couple arrived. I was happy that they were there.
My blood count was up after two days, so my OB/GYN said we had to take the babies. On Aug. Thea, I gave birth to twins. 4lbs. 4 oz and 4lbs. 3 oz. Through the c-section,the mother kept telling me "Thank you" and crying. Our translator wasn't in the room so it was kind of hard, but we did it! They were so happy, and I was glad that they had the family they wanted.
Our translator left to go back to San Francisco and left us with a NEW translator. She didn't know English well and was Chinese. After the babies where born and night came, the couple came in the room to talk and ask if, the next day, I would come and see the babies. I told them yes. Our translator had a heck of a time just telling us this. She was NO good to us, or my couple. I was very upset that at a time like this when we could be talking that I had a translator who didn't speak the right language!
The next day, we went and saw the babies -- what beautiful little girls. So perfect in all ways. Being born at 34 weeks, they were great. They didn't need oxygen. I was so happy that everything worked out. It was hard at times being so far away and not being able just to call the mother, but I was glad that I did this, and would do it again for another Japanese couple again. Next time, though, I'd make sure that the translator was good at both English and Japanese!
We bought gifts for the babies. In Japan they do not have showers, so my mom and friends brought gifts to help out. It was very nice. The mother never came without bringing something for me and my children, and to be able to give something back and help them was a true blessing. I have a lot of pictures of all of us together, along with the letters she wrote in Japanese (translated into English), so one day my children can look back and read what she wrote to me. For the year and half what a bond we had.
My children were very happy that I was doing this and wrote to the mother throughout the pregnancy and sent pictures they had drawn at school. They were also able to see the babies. When it was time for the couple to leave and go back to San Francisco, I took them to the airport. It was our final goodbye. I had a lot more I wanted to say, but with no translator there, it was hard. (The translator had left a few days before so we had no one but us trying to talk. We did great though.)
They went to San Fransico and stayed for a few weeks and then flew off to Japan to live as a family. I would be lucky to be able to help another couple. Some women like me have no problem getting pregnant. And then there are those who need a little help and I am glad that I am here!
December 1997
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