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I Did It For Love
By: Susan Jones
People often tell me what a special woman I am because I was a surrogate. What they don't know is that I am not the special one, it is the mother of the child I carried.</P>
She trusted me enough to let me carry her baby. This is a lot considering she didn't meet me until last May. Since then she has become a good friend. What makes her so special, along with all the other women who choose surrogacy as a way to build their families, is the fact that they not only have this trust in the surrogate, but they go through the whole process with her then, in the end, they don't resent her for her ability to carry a child; they feel gratitude that she has that ability and is willing to share it with them in order to provide them with the child they desire. This meant a lot to me in my relationship with the mother.
We've shared a lot in the months since we met. She went to almost all of the doctors appointments with me. We went out to lunch and did a little window shopping for the baby (their customs keep them from buying anything before the baby is born). Both she and her husband came to my son's football games, and they even spent their first "real" Thanksgiving at my parent's home.
We shared the joy of hearing the heartbeat for the first time. She finally felt the baby move near the end of the pregnancy (she was a very elusive baby). We laughed when the doctors couldn't find the baby from week to week because she was never in the same place twice (hard to believe there was that much room in there.)
We did everything we could to help her experience the pregnancy even though she wasn't the one carrying the baby. She was always concerned with how I was feeling. She didn't want me to experience any sort of discomfort because of the baby.
I honestly think my labor was harder on them than it was on me. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I don't think there is anything that could have prepared them for what I would be going through in the end. At one point her husband told her "look, she is suffering for us". I wouldn't say I was suffering, it just hurt like h*** and it didn't help any when the nurses kept coming in and increasing the pitocin I was given to help speed up the contractions.
The joy on their faces when their daughter was born made any discomfort I might have experienced worth it. Their daughter is now 10 weeks old and I don't think they've stopped smiling yet.
I became a surrogate because of the love I have for my children. There is nothing that compares to what I feel or them and I couldn't imagine someone having to go without that kind of love.
I am grateful to the parents for letting me share in their happiness. This experience has brought me new friends and the knowledge that one person actually can make a difference. I am sure that everyone in my family has learned more about sharing than we knew before.
My son thinks I should carry a baby for all of the women who can't carry their own (he's only 9). I only wish I could. I am only one person and I cannot change the world, but I have learned that I can change someone's life.
Copyright 1996. The American Surrogacy Center, Inc.(TASC), Marietta, GA
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