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By Sherri Witte
It was a very short ad in a parenting magazine that caught my eye. The ad said, "Egg Donors Needed - $1,500". I had never seen an ad of this nature anywhere and I couldn't help but think that $1,500 was a pretty good reward for donating something that I didn't need. Out of curiosity, I responded to the ad by sending a short letter indicating my interest in being a donor.
A few weeks went by and I had forgotten about the letter when I finally received a reply from the Egg Donor program. I began to think about this a little more seriously when I realized I could become really involved in the program. I filled out a questionnaire about myself and my health history. I began to truly believe that I would make an excellent egg donor, for many reasons.
First of all, I have been blessed with four beautiful children. Unlike many women, I never experienced the frustration of not being able to conceive a child. For me it was quite the opposite. I married young and our children came early in our marriage. I was still young, with many child-bearing years ahead of me, when my husband and I decided that four children would complete our family.
Although I do not know the pain of being unable to conceive a much wanted child, I do know the joy that children bring to their parents. It is not fair that some couples try so hard and fail to conceive, while others, like my husband and I are already raising our families. I almost felt guilty that each of my pregnancies and deliveries were so easy and without complication, when I knew this was not the way it is for so many women. I should be an egg donor. Perhaps, in a very small way, my role as an egg donor would make life just a little more fair.
While filling out the health questionnaire I began to see another reason that made me an excellent egg donor candidate. I have always been incredibly healthy, and even when I go back into my family history, I find that there are very little in the way of genetic health problems or disease in my family. My children have always been in excellent health. We are all very fortunate. This blessing could also be shared.
I wasn't the only one who thought I would make a good egg donor. After receiving my paper work, the people at the fertility clinic asked me to come in. The initial meeting consisted of a lot of information and some blood tests. They really like to take blood and run tests! It's a good thing I was not squeamish when it comes to this. I understood that they need donors who are completely healthy. They also took my picture to add to my file. This way a couple could choose a donor who matched their own features.
I had a pelvic exam and an interview with one of their doctors. I was able to ask her any questions. I was told that most of their patients are women who waited to have children until later in life and found that they could not conceive for various reasons. I told her about my worries that I would be playing a part in bringing a child into the world who could possibly be abused. She assured me that these babies are very much wanted and very much prayed for. The procedure was usually a couple's last hope to have a child of their own.
All of the testing found me in perfect physical health, but I was also required to take a psychological exam. I took a test and spoke with a psychiatrist. She wanted to know my feelings about the procedure. Did it bother me that my part would be totally anonymous? How did I feel about my own family and children? Was I worried about the surgical procedure? How did my husband feel about all of this? The psychiatrist that I was assigned to specialized in counseling infertile couples with the emotional and psychological problems that they experience. She was also able to assure me that the couples who would use my eggs had a lot of love to give the child that they desperately wanted. She had used the same fertility drugs that I would be required to take in order to conceive her own children. She helped to settle some of the anxiety I felt about the daily injections that I would be required to take in order to produce a number of mature eggs. Since she was talking from her own personal experience, I believed her when she said these injections were really not so horrible at all.
After my file of physical and psychological tests was complete, all I had to do was wait to be chosen as a donor. It didn't take very long. Only a few weeks went by, before I got a call from one of the nurses at the clinic. Two couples would share my eggs and I would need to come in for more tests and to receive the fertility drugs I would be taking. Based on my last menstrual cycle, I would need to begin taking two daily injections of Lupron. It was easy. The needle was very small and I was able to give myself these injections after some instruction from the nurses. It didn't hurt at all. These injections went into my thigh.
I remember feeling that if my motives were really pure, if all I wanted was to help another couple fulfill their dreams of having a family, then why was I willing to take a fee of $1,500? I was certainly able to justify this after getting further into my part as a donor. I went back and forth to the clinic many times to pick up the drugs, to have blood tests, to have ultrasounds that told the doctors how the eggs in my uterus were developing. They were vaginal ultrasounds. It was not really terribly unpleasant, but nobody would ever go out of their way to have one.
Even my husband had to get involved. He had to take time away from work to go to the clinic and learn how to give me the second set of injections. After a few weeks of taking the Lupron my body was ready to receive the drug (I can't remember it's name) that would actually cause my body to develop many, many mature eggs, instead of the single egg that nature had intended. It is important to have the support of your husband, because he will be the one that has to actually administer these injections. They go into the backside of your hip. The needle is much longer. More like 2 inches instead of the 1/4 inch needle I was using for the Lupron injections. After he inserted the needle, he needed to pull back on the syringe to make sure he didn't hit a vein. If there was no blood in the syringe, he then pushed the drug into my body. If he had drawn blood, he would have to start all over again. Luckily, that never happened. I know that these shots hurt him worse than me. It was very difficult for him to do this. He would cringe every time, and it took him a while to actually build up the courage to put the needle in my hip twice a day. I was still injecting the Lupron myself.
I remember calling the clinic shortly after my husband began giving me the injections. The dosage he was giving me didn't seem to be coming out even with the amount I had been supplied. The nurse told me that he had only been giving me about half of what he was supposed to be and I probably would not be able to provide the number of eggs that they would need. She sounded angry, but with all of the extra hormones running through my body, I was absolutely beside myself. I was crying hysterically and asking her how they could let this happen. How dare they let someone put all of these drugs into my body and do it wrong! I was never given any instructions for these injections, my husband did not come home with any written instructions, and as far as he was concerned, he was administering the drug exactly as he had remembered. The nurse stayed on the phone with me until I calmed down. I believe she should have been more careful with a woman in my emotional state, from the beginning of our conversation. Imagine PMS times 20!
The next day I went in for an ultrasound and everything was okay despite the mistake we had made. Everything was still on course. I began taking the correct dosage. I know that these eggs are only microscopic, but when you have over a dozen mature eggs in your ovanes, you can really tell! I felt very full and bloated in my lower abdomen, but none of this stopped me from my busy daily activities. I even remember getting a shot while I sat in the back seat of our car in the parking lot at Six Flags. It was about four weeks from the time I began taking the Lupron, and two weeks after I began taking the other drug, that the ultrasound revealed I was ready for the egg retrieval procedure.
The operating room and all of the high-tech equipment they needed to remove the eggs was right there at the clinic. My husband brought me in that morning, but was asked not to sit in the waiting room. They did not want him to accidentally meet the man who was also there to contribute his part in the fertilization of my eggs. I was given an IV and spoke to the anesthesiologist. He said that he could either put me completely to sleep, or give me just enough anesthesia so that I would feel no pain, but would remain awake to watch the procedure. I wanted to be awake. I wanted see the procedure. I still find it fascinating that this kind of medical technology exists.
Just before I went into the operating room a nurse brought me a note. It was written by one of the women who would get my eggs. She thanked me for all that I had done to help her. I remember that it said, "God bless you and thank you for your kindness, you are a very special person." It relieved a lot of the apprehension I felt about the egg retrieval procedure and helped me to focus on the reason I was doing this. It also prompted a quick prayer that all of this would not be in vain. That this procedure would actually help produce the child that was dreamed of.
The procedure was easy. The surgeon inserted a needle through the walls of my vagina and carefully guided it, by way of ultrasound, to the many eggs in my uterus. Each egg was then sucked out of my body, and he carefully guided the needle to the next one. I was able to watch all of this on the ultrasound screen. I began to feel some discomfort when the eggs were actually retrieved. I mentioned it to the anesthesiologist and the next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery area. I was not disappointed. I got to watch most of the procedure.
My husband came to pick me up after the retrieval to take me home. I was not feeling very well. The anesthesia did not agree with me and I was very nauseous. This does not commonly happen, but it did to me. I was sick most of the day. My kids took care of me, since my husband had to go back to work. They brought a bowl of soup to my bed. I barely ate any of it, threw-up, and then I finally felt better. By the evening I was back to normal. I felt great and had no other problems or discomfort.
I still had to continue taking the Lupron injections for a little while longer. I went back to the clinic one last time. I stopped in at the pharmacy to get a prescription filled. The pharmacist could tell by the prescription he was filling that I had been an egg donor. He asked me about it, and told me that his child was conceived through the generosity of an anonymous egg donor. It was nice of him to say that. It made me feel good, and I have no regrets about ever having gotten involved as an egg donor.
Copyright 1996. The American Surrogacy Center, Inc.(TASC), Kennesaw, GA
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